


Amor Mio

by siempremadridistalalala



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Anal Sex, Fluff, Insecurity, M/M, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-18
Updated: 2016-06-18
Packaged: 2018-07-15 19:48:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7236073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siempremadridistalalala/pseuds/siempremadridistalalala
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mesut is ready but scared and Cristiano just loves him so much (that he even sings for him).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Amor Mio

**Author's Note:**

> Another old, rewritten tumblr fic.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Only a few days after Cristiano’s proposal, Mesut and Crissi went out to get ice cream. When they were walking down the street a lot of people stared at them, which wasn’t that strange as it was weird for them to see a football player with another football player’s son.

Of course there also were people, mostly teenage girls and the elderly, who only had eyes for Crissi. Pretty much everyone found the little boy cute, which he was of course.

“Can I have banana ice cream please?” Crissi politely asked the man. He smiled at them when he gave as he gave Crissi his ice cream and winked at Mesut. Not a wink like how Cristiano would wink at Mesut, but just an 'it’s okay, I won't tell'-wink. “Thank you.”

On the way home Crissi’s feet started to hurt a little, so, of course, Mesut carried him till they were there. Cris was sitting on the couch, watching a movie. He had turned up the sound pretty loud so he couldn’t really hear them coming in.

He almost jumped when Mesut let himself fall down on the couch, taking Crissi in his lap. The little boy was still busy eating his ice cream, though the most of it was on his face and not in his mouth. But he didn’t care, as long as he could keep eating it was okay.

“How was it?” Cris asked. “Baba bought me ice cream.” Crissi told his father proudly, smiling from ear to ear.

Mesut smiled too but became serious again right after. It looked like he was deep in thought. “What’s wrong?” Cris wanted to know.

Mesut opened his mouth to say something but closed it again. He waited a few seconds before he spoke up. “I’ve been thinking. Remember that when we got together I told you I wasn’t ready for, you know, ‘it’?”

Cris nodded.

“Well… We’ve been together for more than a year now and after what you did a few days ago I… I-I think I’m ready now.” He struggled to get it out, but succeed.  
Cris acted calm. Smiled at his boyfriend and nodded. He was relieved, not that he was the kind of person that only hooked up with people for sex, even though almost everyone thought he was. He loved Mesut and respected his choice and the fact that he wasn’t ready for something this intimate. So he patiently waited.

“Thanks” was all he said. He leaned forward and hugged Mesut. A soft cough interrupted the ‘romantic’ moment. They forgot that Crissi was still sitting there. 

“Sorry, little man, but baba just made me very happy!”

-x-

The next morning, the three of them sat around the table for breakfast. Crissi was happily eating and playing with his banana while Cris and Mesut just sat there and stared into nowhere.

Mesut was on the front page of Marca. He was carrying Crissi while the boy was eating his ice cream. It was taken at the moment Crissi laid his head on Mesut’s chest. Just like all kids would do with their father or mother. Not strange at all. Except no one knew Cris and Mesut were in a relationship and that Mesut was actually a father for Crissi too.

Sure, a lot of shippers would be happy with this. They would freak out.

“It’s a nice photo though” Cristiano broke the silence. He had a point, but it wasn’t the right time to joke around. “It’s not bad, I mean, what can they prove with this? Nothing right?” “No, but I’m sure the other guys will start making things up though.”

And he was right. They had barely opened the door or Sergio already started joking. Family bonding and things like that. They didn’t really make a big deal out of it.

-x-

Later that day, after dinner, they had just brought Crissi to Cristiano’s mother because they had an important match the next day. Cris parked his car and got out. He held the car door open for Mesut like a gentleman.

They were barely inside when Cris pushed Mesut against the wall. He placed light kisses all over his neck. While kissing, they went upstairs, to Cris’s bed. They continued what they were doing.

After a while, Cris pulled off Mesut’s shirt. His hands trailed down from his cheek to his belt. How could Mesut find himself ugly? He was beautiful! 

Now he also pulled off his own shirt as well. Even after a year, Mesut still wondered why Cristiano Ronaldo, the best footballer in the world who could have any man or woman he wanted, would choose him, Mesut Özil, with the big eyes.

“It’s nice to look at, I know” Cris smirked. Mesut didn’t realize he had been staring. “Sorry I just… I love you.”

“I love you too, and I’m so happy we’re getting married” he said and kissed the younger boy.

Cris could see it in Mesut’s eyes, he was scared. And insecure. Cris would do anything to not make him feel this way, but he couldn’t. Mesut had to do that by himself and Cris would always be there for him when Mesut needed him.

Cris pulled down his own jeans and threw them to one of the corners of the room. He was only wearing shorts now. He saw Mesut was still sitting on the edge of the bed, jeans still on. “Come on, there’s nothing to be ashamed of” Cris told him. Mesut looked up to Cris, his eyes were filled with fear. He shouldn’t be scared of Cris.  
“Do you promise you won’t get mad?” he finally spoke up. Cris nodded. Why would he get mad? What could be so bad about this?

Mesut stood up and turned his back to Cris. He slowly , carefully pulled his jeans down. He didn’t turn back to Cris, but sat down on the bed again. Cris sat down next to him. He put his arm around Mesut’s shoulders and Mesut started to cry.

Cris slowly rubbed Mesut’s back as he let the German cry. It was then that he saw why Mesut was scared Cris would get mad. All over Mesut’s upper inner thighs were cuts. Some were deep and some were not. Cris now also understood why Mesut refused to shower with the others and why he didn’t want to change clothes when Cris or anyone else could see him. He was scared anyone would see this.

“Hey, it’s ok. I’m not mad. Just wondering… Why did you do this?” Cris placed a kiss on Mesut’s hair. The younger boy stopped crying but was still sobbing. “ I-I already told you, I can’t handle all the hate. It just has become too much. And they’re right, you know. I’m ugly, worth nothing and I definitely don’t deserve to even play for Real Madrid. Nor do I deserve to be loved by someone like you.” 

Cris didn’t know what to say, so he just hugged Mesut and smilked bitterly. And surprisingly, it was the younger boy who made the first move, getting out of the hug. He kissed Cris’s collar bone. Cris grinned and when his eyes met Mesut’s, the German smiled too.

Cris laid Mesut down on the bed and hung above him, knees on both sides of Mesut’s body. “Are you really sure?” he asked, to be sure. Mesut nodded and Cris pulled Mesut’s underwear down too, then his own. They were both completely naked now.

Even with the cuts on his inner thighs Mesut was still beautiful. His eyes were cute, he had this sweet smile and his hands… Cris loved Mesut’s hands, because they exactly fit in his own, like they belonged together. And he hated the way Mesut thought about himself and that he looked up to others.

“You’re beautiful Mesut. You really are.” And this time, Mesut believed him. He believed Cris thought he was beautiful, he believed that Cris loved him. He believed all of it.

Mesut looked so fragile and Cris was scared he would hurt him, even though they both it was going to hurt Mesut anyway. Physically, not emotionally.  
Cris had done this before, once, during his time in England and he had been really drunk. But to Mesut this was completely new. He shivered when Cris entered him with one finger. At first, it hurt a bit but the pain soon faded away. He relaxed and laid his head down in the pillows.

What hurt a little bit more, was Cris’s second finger. And then the third. Mesut squeezed his eyes shut. He couldn’t believe this was actually happening.  
It didn’t take long before Cris pulled his fingers out. Mesut didn’t want to open his eyes, afraid Cris would see he was almost crying. But when Cris entered him, he couldn’t hold back the tears. They were streaming down his face as he cried out in pain.

“Mesut, it’s okay. Ssssh, it’ll be over soon, don’t cry babe!” Cris took Mesut’s face in his hands and kissed him tenderly.

After about a minute Mesut nodded, as a signal that he was ready. Cris moved out very slowly, not wanting to hurt his boyfriend. As he moved back in he tried not to touch Mesut’s cuts. 

He didn’t know if those cuts were fresh or if it had been a while ago. He didn’t ask it of course, that would upset Mesut.

Cris started to move faster now, causing Mesut to moan. He closed his hand around Mesut’s member. Slowly moving up and down in the same rhythm.

It didn’t take very long before they both came, Cris filling Mesut. He pulled out and lay down, Mesut’s head on his chest. He kissed the German’s forehead and reached out to touch one of the cuts. That one was fresh for sure. He looked at his boyfriend and sighed.

They lay there for a while, Cris stroking Mesut’s hair and holding his hand. There was a comfortable silence.

“Baby you light up my world like nobody else” Cris started to sing. Mesut blushed. “Sorry. I can’t sing the next line now that you’ve got short hair.” He stroked Mesut’s hair again. “It’s nice like this but I prefer your longer hair though, a lot of girls suddenly started liking you when you cut it short.” “But I don’t like girls.”  
“I know.”

Cris put his hand on Mesut’s thighs again. It felt weird to both of them. For Cris it was weird to feel that Mesut’s insecurity had made him do this and for Mesut it felt weird that someone was actually touching him there.

“You’re insecure, don’t know what for… Do you know those lyrics really fit you? Maybe I should write a song about you!” Cris looked back at his boyfriend who couldn’t hold back his laughter. “Something like Amor Mio? I’d prefer you don’t.” Cris pouted at Mesut. Somehow it worked ‘cause Mesut pressed his lips hard to Cris’s. 

“With or without those scars, wether you have short or long hair. I’ll always love you. You know that right?”

Mesut hesitated but nodded. He rest his head in Cris’s neck. “I love you too.”

“Good. Don’t forget it. And don’t ever cut yourself again or I will hide all the scissors and knives and other sharp objects we have here. Crissi wouldn’t want to lose you either. He loves you too. When you went to Germany a few weeks ago, he cried because he thought you wouldn’t come back.”

“I love that little guy like he’s my own son, you know.” “Yes, I know. And you’re his daddy, just as much as I am.”

Mesut smiled. “I want to be with you forever.”

“I wouldn’t want it any other way. Can’t you just change your nationality to Portuguese so I can be with you during national team duty?”

They both laughed. “No sorry, I don’t even speak Portuguese. There are only a few words I can say in Portuguese.”

“Like what?”

“Eu te amo”

Cris smiled. “Ich liebe dich auch.”


End file.
